Q: I’m starting to wonder if I am ever going to meet the right guy. I hear stories about couples meeting at restaurants or airports, but this sort of thing never happens to me.
- Where Are All The Single Men?
A: Great question! Single men are out there and they want to meet you.
For the record, you are not alone in your frustration. The 2008 Harris Interactive Poll revealed that single women actually go out more frequently than single men. Modern men watch an average of 45 minutes more television each day than single women and spend 20 minutes longer online. So where are the single guys? They are inside their homes staring at screens. That makes online dating seem like good bet.
Fortunately, men can occasionally be found in places other than their homes, work, and the gym.
The key is to spend time in places that appeal to the type of man you want to meet. Think about your ideal match, and imagine how he would spend his leisure time.
To meet a man who is athletic:
Seek out co-ed sports leagues for kickball, volleyball, or bowling, martial arts classes, running clubs, bike groups, urban scavenger hunts, and events at sports bars and stadiums.
To meet a man who is artistic:
Spend time at art openings, theatre benefits, museums, and coffee houses. If you're feeling creative, you can join a team for the 48 Hour Film Festival (or just attend the screening).
To meet a man who is intellectual:
Check out lecture series sponsored by local libraries and universities, book launches, and wine tastings. Attending a Tedx Event is also a great way to connect with men who share your intellectual curiosity.
To meet a man who is politically-engaged or an idealist:
Try volunteering for a campaign or getting involved in a community project like cleaning a river, or building houses with Habitat for Humanity. You can find all kinds of local volunteer opportunities that match your interests on Meetup’s Volunteer Site. Many cities even have volunteer groups specifically for singles.
To meet a man who shares your values and lifestyle:
Tap into your existing social networks by attending parties, weddings, and alumni events. Ask your friends to set you up on blind dates with their single friends.
If you are more introverted, it can feel nerve-wracking to dive into a new social scene. Allow yourself to ease into the new environment by observing your surroundings. Then, when you see someone of interest, be bold and strike up a conversation.
It's true that you can meet eligible men almost anywhere, if you have the right attitude and the right approach. When I was single, I remember going to a large social event and looking around the room with a heavy heart. I thought, "There are no single men here. Everyone is either too old, too young, or taken." Just one month later, I met my boyfriend and learned that he had been at the same event! I had blindly looked past him because I assumed that he was dating a woman who just happened to be sitting near him. It was a good reminder that loneliness can lead to self-defeating assumptions. The next time you are in a public place, take a good look around, and don't be afraid to introduce yourself. You just might meet the love of your life.