Get Back Together with My Ex?

Dear Elana,

Some time ago, I started dating this amazing guy. Everything was great and we got along in every way. However, he had finished a two-year relationship right before we started dating, and after a few months he said he wasn’t ready. We concluded that probably not enough time had passed since his previous relationship, and that he could not be emotionally available to me or anyone else. My heart was broken, but as we both really liked and admired each other, we decided to stay friends. Now we spend time together, but I am still in love with him. How do I know if he is ready for a relationship? When that happens, how can I make him see me as a romantic interest once again? P.S. We are gay. Thank you so much!

– Hopeful Underdog Not Giving Up

Dear HUNG UP,

It sounds like the first question is how honest your friend is being with you. Is he really “not ready” to be in a relationship, or is he hesitant about being in a relationship with you? If you truly believe that your former flame can keep burning, then you need to have a conversation. Ask him how he feels about his ex, and how he feels about you. Remind him of the fun you’ve had together, and tell him you want to keep having adventures with him. However, I would caution you to examine your expectations. It is possible that he will remain your friend, but fall for someone else. If that time comes, make sure that you are open to other matches whose flames are burning brighter for you.